Ron Paul speech

I also gave a speech for Ron Paul at the Ron Paul headquarters. I am very popular on the political speech circuit. The Ron Paul fans were all screaming loudly and I was like, "If you fucking people don't vote for Ron Paul, America will die!" Then everyone was like, "Yes yes yes yes yes yes!"

After my speech Ron Paul came up to me and said, "You know, I have seen over 4000 vaginas while doing my vagina doctoring. What do you think about that, bitch?" I was like, "That's pretty awesome, dude. Ron Paul!"

Rally for Hope for Hillary Clinton

The other day I gave a speech for Hillary Clinton at the Rally for Hope. The people there were all cheering for me and I was like, "Hillary Clinton is nice! Give her a vote!" Then the people were screaming, "Yes, voting is nice!" Then I was punching the air and screaming.

Hillary Clinton came by after my speech and said, "Stankleberry Sullivan, that was the best speech I have ever heard in my entire life. Would you like to be my vice president?" Then I said, "Fuck you, Hillary Clinton. You are a bitch."

Thanks for visiting Penis Land Enterprises, Skysurf Hotshot

Someone named Skysurf Hotshot visited Penis Land Enterprises. He had a parachute on, I assume he parachuted in from somewhere and got a head injury or something. He was just standing there limply.

Anyway, Skysurf was adorned with some Penis Land brand penises and was awarded with thousands of internet dollars, as a reward for being Penis Land Enterprises's 1 millionth visitor. Congratulations, Skysurf Hotshot!

I'm a pirate!

Arrrr